Wreckage
by agent cormac
Summary: Amongst the wreckage of the Reaper war Shepard finds something he thought that he'd lost forever. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

In the end, as the explosion begin to wash over him, Shepard welcomes it. Ever since Vendetta had announced that the Reapers had the Citadel, he's been filled with a sense of utter despair, of utter failure. He'd started wishing, begging to an uncaring universe that he his worst nightmares weren't coming true. Talking to Dr Michael had given him a sliver of hope.

The charnel house that Citadel had become had put paid to that. Mangled bodies stacked like refuse, the overpowering, almost physical stench of blood, Keeper moving around as if this was all routine. Any will to live he may have had, any wild hope for a miracle, had died.

He prays that Kelly's death was quick because otherwise, the thought of her being taken by husks and put back into one of these pods, her nightmares made literally real... It would have been kinder to let Cerberus kill her.

After Cronos station there isn't even the hope of seeing her in the afterlife, not that he was a great believer, unlike poor Ashley, but with two years dead and no shining light, no chorus of angels, no pearly gates, its clear to him that death is the end and as the explosions consume him, he embraces the dark.

The light stabbing into his eyes is agonising, the sounds, a mash of discordant noise, painful. In the few seconds it lasts before he submerges back into the blackness, he wonders if this hell.

It's darker when he wakes again. He has no idea where he is, though it's obviously not the afterlife. Attempts to move are futile, his limbs leaden and unresponsive. His attempts though are enough, a nurse or a doctor moves into his line of vision.

"Commander Shepard, can you hear me? Blink if you can understand me"

He blinks, though not until after attempting to speak.

He attempts again to speak, his mouth and throat a sudden mass of pain, the obstructions in them burning.

"Commander, please don't try and speak. We've got you intubated, as well lines for feeding and drug delivery. That's why we've got you're arms and legs restrained as well. Commander Shepard, Admiral Hackett would like to see you if you feel up to it. Commander?"

He closes his eyes and retreats to sleep.

He wakes, trying to scream, trying to move his arms, the horrific vision of Kelly melting, like the colonist from Horizon, whilst pleading for him to come. Nurses and doctors, rush in, one with a syringe which is quickly inserted into an intravenous line. He fights this time against the darkness the is overwhelming him, not wanting to go back but he loses and is thrust back into the abyss.

He's been drugged a couple of times, so the unpleasant sensation of waking through the haze isn't uncommon, nor the slow climb from unconsciousness to conciousness. As he does so he notices the person sitting by the bed. It takes a little while for the him to recognise Admiral Hackett.

"Nurse, Inform the doctor. Commander Shepard's awake." A nurse, that he hadn't noticed, turns and moves away, Hackett turning back to Shepard.

"I can't believe it, Shepard. What you've done is simply incredible, a miracle, a genuine miracle. Communications are as sketchy as hell, but from what we get through the Quantum communicators, the Reapers are dead across the entire galaxy. I guess I just want you to know. What you've done, everything, it was worth it."

Shepard turns is head away from Hackett, anger coursing through him. The price had been too high, Kaidan, Mordin, Legion, Thane and Kelly.

Hackett's going on, something about the fleets in orbit but he's interrupted when the nurse returns with a doctor.

"Commander Shepard? I'm Doctor Pereira. I think it's time that we got those tubes out of you"

Shepard nods, grateful to get rid of the stupid things. It takes some work and huts like hell, but the various tubes that where stuck down his throat are removed.

A nurse hands him a glass of cool water, which he sips, swishing the water around his mouth before swallowing.

"Is there anything you want, Shepard?" asks Hackett.

"Were there... any... survivors... from the Citadel?" his voice almost give out, and is barley above a whisper but he asks.

Hackett nods

"Some, here's a casualty list"

Shepard takes the pad Hackett passes to him and starts scrolling through it.

And there it is officially : Chambers, Kelly. Missing, presumed Dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Hackett tries to tell him more about what's happening, about what all his squad members are doing, something about the Normandy but Shepard tunes it out. Once he notices, he makes his excuses and starts to leave, mentioning something about a meeting.

Just before he exits the room he turns back "We need some good new Shepard, something to give the population hope. We've been keeping the fact that you're alive under wraps."

"Afraid I'd die on you?" Shepard managed to huff out.

"Honestly? Yes, Announcing the we'd recovered the greatest hero in galaxy only to have him die would have tanked what little morale is left. We'll tell everybody you're alive. We want interviews, news stories. Will you do it?"

Shepard closes his eyes. It's the last thing in the universe that he wants but...

"Yes"

"Thank you. This'll make a hell of difference."

The next day he hears two of the nurses talking about it. The announcement was huge, and as Hackett predicted it had massive effect on morale.

"I'll check if we can bring in a screen or even just an omni-tool and let you see what's happening Commander." says Nurse Conway.

"Thank you" His voice had improved, the pain in his throat lessening.

"Sure, no problem, Commander" Conway moves away.

That's when the commotion outside door to his rooms starts. It sounds like arguing. He wonders if it's Al-Jilani trying for another one of her interviews, till he remembers that she was on the Citadel.

The door opens and Shepard can see a guard outside his door, she's speaking to a blond woman

"Sorry Ma'am but your ID isn't checking out. I'll speak to somebody and see if they can confirm it"

Shepard can't hear the other woman's reply. The guard turns to call somebody on her omni-tool, the other woman brushing past her, coming into the room, letting Shepard gets a good look at her face and

time

stands

still.

It's Kelly. The shock feels like he's been dumped into a ice cold river, the only other time he's ever felt anything similar was when he realised the was running out of oxygen.

He's half out of bed before he even thinks about it, the guard starts yelling and pulling a pistol, nurse s moving towards him and Kelly, walking towards him, a look of pure bliss on her face.

He staggers, his feet almost going out from under him, but manages to make it to Kelly, arms wrapping around her, pulling her in tight.

The guard points her pistol at them

"Sir! Move away from her! Sir, move away, now!"

He manages, with some effort to untangle an arm from Kelly, to grab the guard and pulls her in close

"Shut the fuck up and if you don't point that fucking gun somewhere else, I'll kill you"

It's an empty threat. He can barely stand, the only reason he hasn't fallen over yet is the death grip Kelly has on him and the one he's got on the guard. The scared look on the guards face means she believes otherwise.

"Sir? But the ID's fake, we have no idea who she is or who she's with!"

"She's with me. She's with me. Now lose the gun!" he snarls, seeing red.

The guard slowly and reluctantly holsters the gun.

"I came- I knew, I knew -" murmurs Kelly into his chest. He lets go of the guard, and strokes Kelly's back.

The world begins to narrow, focusing on Kelly's face and he falls...

It's late when he wakes up, the light dimmed for night. He thinks for a second that seeing Kelly alive again had been a dream. It dies when he spots her curled up in a chair besides the bed, a blanket covering her and her gorgeous green eyes focused on him.

"Kelly, I... I thought you.. you were dead. Your name.. was on a casualty..." He breaks down crying. Kelly's out of her chair and has her arms wrapped around him immediately.

"I'm here, Shepard. I'm alive. It's all going to be okay."

It takes a little while but he manages to get himself under control, the warmth and comfort of having Kelly beside him helping immeasurably.

"How did you survive? Why are you listed as being missing?"

"I'll tell you later how I survived, okay? It's nothing interesting." Kelly's eyes, and the scratches and bruises on her face, tell a different story.

"Okay"

Kelly relaxes a little, and the wild look in her eyes subsides.

"and?"

"You checked under Chambers. Not Hannigan?"

"I'd forgotten"

He laughs and after a few seconds Kelly starts laughing as well, the most beautiful sound in the universe.


	3. Chapter 3

The laughter takes a while to finish, each one of them almost stopping before setting both of them off again.

"It's not that funny" Shepard finally manages to get out between errant giggles.

"It's a stress reaction, it's not uncommon" Kelly says with a straight face before dissolving into laughter.

Once it's finally done Shepard turns serious.

"Kelly, what were you thinking trying to sneak in? You could have gotten hurt or..."

Kelly looks on the verge of tears "I know but... I tried calling. I couldn't exactly tell them who I was because of... you know. I was desperate and not thinking I guess. I'm sorry"

"Hey, it's okay. I don't think I could have stood losing you, not..."

Kelly interrupts him "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying alongside you no matter what"

"Well, good"

Kelly's true to her word. She practically moves into his room, staying most of the day and night. The doctors and nurses try to get her to leave but it turns out Kelly has stubborn streak. The fact that he backs her makes it almost impossible for them to do anything. The days stretch together.

Its late at night and Kelly's curled into his side. He's tired, a press conference answering questions from almost every surviving news outlet on the planet had taken up most of his afternoon. He wasn't sure the answers had been enough.

"Shepard, people need a symbol, something to put their faith in. You've given them that"

"Symbols won't fill empty bellies, they won't stop murder or robbery or rape"

"No but if people believe in something, they can work out ways around those problems, find that there is a solution that'll benefit everybody."

"You're an optimist, Kelly." She bristles at that eyes, flashing with anger.

"And that's a bad thing? Right? Screw the universe, to hell with everybody, just look out for yourself. Sorry If have some human decency" She starts to get up, till he places a hand on her arm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Kelly, that optimism, that ability to see good in everybody, it's your most attractive quality, it's part of the reason I love you"

Kelly leans over and kisses him deeply

"Well, apology accepted."

Comfortable silence, broken only by the sounds of the medical monitors, falls between them. For the first time in months, if not years, Shepard can relax.

"Did you mean it?" asks Kelly in a low voice

"Mean what?"

"That you love me?"

"Yes, of course."

Kelly squirms closer and hugs him tight.

"I thought so. I just wanted to hear it again"

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I.."

Kelly place a finger to his lips

"Okay, thank you. I love you too"

He'd been told that before but hearing it from Kelly is different, there's a permanency to it.

"I should start looking for somewhere."

"What? Why?"

"The doctors and the nurses are getting kind of insistent"

"And?"

"I wouldn't mind somewhere private, just for the two of us"

Kelly laughs at the grin that spreads across his face.

"Not like that! You're not well enough, unfortunately. No, just some place quiet"

"I like the sound of that."

Kelly nods, "I'll get on it tomorrow"

It actually takes a little over a week, by which time the Doctors are allowing him to walk.

"It's done. It's somewhere called Woking, not too far from here. It's part of the a temporary housing area, with prefab units. Not a lot of living space, about nine square meters but it does have a small food prep area and enclosed sanitation area." Kelly watches as he walks up and down.

"Sounds great"

"Have the Doctors said when you're going to be able to get out of here?"

He's been pestering the doctors daily to give him an answer about when he can leave but they haven't given him an answer yet.

"I don't know it might be a while..."

There's a flicker of disappointment across Kelly's face.

"Or it could be now"

"Shepard, are you sure? You're still not really well.."

"I'm fine. I'm just getting sick of this place. A change of scenery will do wonders"

The argument over Shepard discharging himself takes a good four hours for the doctors to recognise that they aren't going to win. It takes another hour for them to get all the medication. Another to finally leave the hospital, which Shepard realises is a ship.

It midnight when they arrive at the temporary housing unit.

He follows Kelly through the door. She turns, face lit up in a smile

"Welcome home!"


	4. Chapter 4

It was tiny and spartan, the barracks in the N program might give it a run for its money in lack of décor, but it was were Kelly was. He loved it.

She'd walked over to, and flopped dramatically across, the rather tiny double bed, stretching out.

"Come on over" she said lifting her head up.

"I'm just trying to work out if I''ll fit"

"Of course you'll fit! Now, get over here."

He makes his way, slowly, over to the bed and sits down to take off his shoes. Kelly immediately grabs him in a hug and pulls him on to the bed, sprawling the pair of them in an ungainly pile.

"Kelly! I was trying to take off my shoes!"

"Later."

He settles in, letting Kelly arrange the both of them, wrapping her arms around him, her head resting against his chest.

"Comfortable?"

"Hmm, yes"

"Good"

He closes his eyes.

When he awakens Kelly is up, grumbling and massaging her arm

"What's the matter?"

""You slept on my arm, it's gone numb"

"Sorry."

"I should have moved it. Now what do you want for breakfast? The green goop or the orange goop? We also have some hard, brick like things and water"

There is a knock at the door, Kelly waves him to stay down and walks over to the door, opening it to find Hackett standing there

"Ms... Hannigan, isn't it? I like to see Commander Shepard, please"

"Of course, come in"

Shepard manages to get off the bed and into one of the narrow chairs that make up the rest of the furniture.

"Admiral Hackett, why didn't you just call?"

"I've tried, Shepard but you're omni tool isn't answering"

The guilty look that passes across Kelly's face tells him why that is.

"Yeah, I've been getting some unwanted attention so I turned it off, I though that I'd turned it back on but mustn't have. Anyway, how can I help you, Admiral?"

"We're starting to put together a provisional government. We want you there."

"Another photo op, make the new guys look good?"

Hackett shook his head

"No, Shepard. We want you in the government"

"Admiral, I'm not a politician. I'm not.."

Hackett interrupted him, "Shepard, you managed to unite the galaxy behind you, managed to solve problems that where hundred, thousands of years old. That takes a lot of political know how"

"That was different, that was butting heads and staring everybody down. I'm not cut out for budget reviews and drafting laws. I'm not cut out for much at all any more"

"We need practical people in the government, people how know how to get things done, people like you Shepard"

"I don't think that I'm the type of person that you want or need, right now admiral. I'm tired. I'm... just not what you need"

Hackett nodded "That's what I thought you'd say, but the others wanted me to check anyway. If you change you're mind you know how to find me"

Kelly shows Hackett out. She comes back and sit down opposite him.

"You sure that you don't want to be a politician, Shepard?" she asks.

"I don't want to be politician."

"That's fine. But it's more then that. You feel that you've done enough, that it's somebody else's turn to step up. And you're right, you done more then anybody could expect or even pray for, you deserve some time to put it all a side, to come to terms what you did and what happened. And I will be there. For all of it. But you won't be able ignore everybody forever. You're too important, too big to be let go. If you don't want people to try and use you you'll have to decide what you want to do"

"You're psychologist is showing, Kelly"

"Am I wrong though?"

He shrugs and sighs "No I don't think you are. So, I should take up Hackett's offer, become a politician?"

"Not if you don't want. Don't decide any thing yet. Just be aware of what's happening."

"You're right, I need to start planning for the future"

Kelly nods

"Yes"

"I already know one plan I have for the future"

"What?"

He looks Kelly straight in the eyes

"Never leaving you, ever again."


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard settles in to the prefab unit and the wider temporary housing unit. His strength slowly returns, wounds heal and the various scars fade.

More importantly the blonde dye washes out of Kelly's hair, returning it to the fiery red that first captured his eye on the Normandy. It makes Kelly happier as well.

"I never really stood out much at school. I wasn't the most academic of students, I didn't do any sports or extra-curricular activities. But the hair, that made me rare, unique. And as I got older, well..." she giggles

"You broke many a heart, you flame haired temptress"

"Yes, but I can hardly be blamed for all the times random strangers hit on me because of my hair colour."

"Really, solely because of the red hair?"

"Yes. It was interesting. I used to joke with a Linda, a friend I worked with, that the reason that the Illusive Man hired me was he wanted a smoking hot redhead on staff"

The grin on Kelly's face dimmed

"I hope she got out..."

"Let's hope so"

"I should have done something, I could have helped her, I could have done.. more"

"You helped those engineers that you found in the refugee camp."

"Yes, but what about Patel, Hadley, Matthews, Goldstein, Gardner..."

"Kelly, what do you think you could have done? Did you try and convince them to leave with you?"

Kelly nodded "Yes, But I could have been more persuasive, made them see what I'd seen about Cerberus"

"Kelly, you can't save everybody, believe me I know. You can't blame yourself, I'm sure that you did everything that you could. That's all any of us can ever do"

Kelly flashed a quick grin "I'm supposed to be the one with the psychological advice, Shepard"

"Physician, heal thy self."

"Doesn't always work."

"Still having nightmares?"

"Yes, you?"

"Yes"

Kelly frowned "How long?"

"They come and go. I don't know, a couple of weeks, maybe?"

"And you didn't tell me?

"You haven't exactly been open with me either, Kelly"

"You don't need to be burdened by my problems. I can deal with it. And what happened to me, it's nothing compared to what you went through. Some times I'm amazed that you're functioning as well as you do"

"Am I? I haven't done anything in weeks, I have nightmares, I don't know, I don't think I'm functioning well"

"By rights ,Shepard you should be insane. You're mental resilience is nothing less then outstanding."

"And what about you?"

"I'm fine."

"Your not, but you're going to tough it out anyway"

Kelly shrugged "If I can find someone I trust I'll speak to them, otherwise it'll fade, with time"

"If there's anything I can do..."

"Having you around, is more then enough Shepard"

He gets up and hugs Kelly.

"Always"

He looks in to her eyes, marvelling at how green they, noticing the light and warmth that they have for him. He leans in and kisses her slowly, his hands beginning to move up and down her back, long powerful strokes. She sighs and shifts a little, allowing him to better access. She move her arms around to his back and starts to pull the shirt he's wearing off, before she breaks the kiss and looks at him.

"You okay with this?" she asks voice laced with lust

"Yes" he's surprised at the echoing lust in his own voice.

He pulls her top off, exposing her bra, his arms going around her back to unfasten it, her arms going down again to take off his top. He undoes the clasp and her bra falls away. He leans down, a twinge of pain going through him, and starts licking and sucking on Kelly's small breasts. She manages to pull his top off, and quickly moves down to his pants, opening the belt and undoing the fly.

"Stand up"

He does so, Kelly quickly pulling his pants and underwear down, before she does the same for her self. She pulls both of them over to the bed, pushing him on to it.

She's over him, hovering, before plunging down. The hot, wet, tightness of her is almost enough to undo him right there, but he manages to control it, and soon Kelly's moving in a nice rhythm.

He has to stop her once, because of a pain in his side but it isn't long before he can't control himself and comes, spilling deep into her. It's enough to set Kelly off and she comes.

Kelly sprawls across him, a sleepy, satisfied smile on her face, and he returns it, the glow of the shared intimacy suffusing through them.


	6. Chapter 6

Kelly gets a job at the hospital ship, mostly dealing with refugees and soldiers hurt in the final battle for Earth.

"You okay with me doing this, Shepard" she asked as she got ready to leave.

"Yes and No. I'll miss having you around all the time, but if it makes you happy? Then I'm fine."

"The extra rations won't harm either. We might even be able to trade for real food"

All through the reaper war the automated farms on Benning had been harvesting and storing the food that normal would have been shipped out. At slightly over 65 light years away it was roughly a three week round trip for most freighters. Some military ships, destroyers and frigates had done the initial run to insure that any Cerberus elements on the planet where dealt with.

"Hope so, you should be able to cook something"

Kelly paused, a confused look on her face

"Me? I don't cook. Unless you count noodles and ready to cook meals. I thought you'd learned to cook during one of those special forces courses"

Shepard laughed " I did but I don't think that learning how to make offal, insects and vermin edible is quite what you had in mind"

Kelly formed a moue of disgust "Eww! No, I don't think that'd help at all. I guess I'll just have to try and learn"

"We can both learn. It'll be fun"

Kelly looks dubiously at him "If you say so. See you later"

Shepard finds it oddly liberating being alone. He then starts to feel guilty for thinking it. Kelly has been everything for him the last few months, and the idea of being away from her, even temporarily shouldn't make him feel like this.

When Kelly arrives home, he tells her guiltily but she just waves it away.

"Shepard, I know you. You're a person with a high level of individuality and autonomy. You've always been one to be sure of you're self and not dependent on anybody. You'll team up but you're more at home being alone. "

"So I shouldn't feel guilty about when I'm alone?"

"No. You start wishing me gone on the other hand, then you should feel guilty" grinned Kelly

"Well, maybe if you don't stop psychoanalysing me.." he managed to keep the grin off hi face

"Sorry, professional hazard, you see everything in terms of behaviours. I'll stop" said Kelly, suddenly serious.

"Hey! I was joking. I know I'm messed up enough to need some one psychoanalysing me. Even better if I have tame psychologist on hand"

"The truth of why I'm here. I should start charging you!"

"With what? Nobodies taking much in the way of credit yet"

A sly grin crossed Kelly's face "I'll think of something"

"You're incorrigible."

"I know!"

Over the next few days Shepard thinks about what Kelly said and he recalls the earlier discussion about deciding his own future. He makes up his mind and tells Hackett that he won't be part of the provisional government but a spokesman or something similar, he can do that.

Hackett agrees, seemingly relieved and tells him that there will be a ceremony to mark the start of the provisional government and to start to honor those who died. It'll be a tasteful, solemn affair, dress uniforms and dark clothing.

"I don't think I've got any dress uniforms, Admiral."

"I can arrange one for you. I suppose Ms. Hannaian will be accompanying you?"

"Of course, though I'm not sure that she's got anything appropriate" Shepard remembered Kelly making some comment about losing her wardrobe.

"That's fine, I'll make arrangements for that too. Thank you for this, Shepard"

Hackett is true to his word. A few days later a parcel arrives containing one Class A Dress Uniform and an elegant dress. The uniform fits him, mostly. Kelly quickly tries on the dress.

"What do you think?

"It's too long, thought I do like the low cut"

Kelly laughs and cups her breasts "Yes, it does give you an eyeful doesn't it. Nice to have some cleavage for once as well"

"I'm sure once it's been adjusted you'll look stunning"

She does. At the event everything goes well. Shepard makes a speech about coming together, about trust, about hope. It's off the cuff but seems to be what the crowd wants. Afterwards as he mingles his eyes keep returning to Kelly, a shimmering, glowing creature in the night, her eye catching and flashing in the flickering firelight.

It's then that he makes another decision about the future.


	7. Chapter 7

It hadn't taken a lot of doing in the end to get what he wanted. Riches, trinkets, luxuries counted for little when you were mostly still worried about shelter, food, the other basic necessities that made up life.

He gone with a pale pink diamond in the end. He had no idea how much it was worth, though a half remembered conversation with Kasumi pointed to it being quite expensive.

The opportunity to ask came when he and Kelly are outside the temporary housing area. It's a Sunday, so they're both home. It had been Kelly's idea, she said that she'd been getting sick of the same four walls and wanted to take a look around the area.

A frown crosses Kelly's face.

"What is it Kelly?" he asks.

Kelly turns from looking over the sea of wreckage and sighs

"Looking at that" she waves her hand at the masses of rubble "and thinking about all the people who lived and worked and loved here and it's just so..."

A flash of colour, of movement catches his eye. It turns out to be a group of survivors looking through the rubble, not an uncommon sight.

One of them digs something out of the rubble and quickly shows it to the rest of them. What ever it is produces a quick cheer.

He points them out to Kelly.

"It is but look, even in this kind of situation people find something to be happy about, something to give them hope. Isn't that what you told me?"

"Yes, I did."

She leans and kisses him on the check

"Thank you for cheering me up"

"It's what I'm here for and..." He hesitates, it's not quite the romantic situation that he was hoping for but he's never been one to let an opportunity pass. He takes out the ring.

Kelly's eyes go wide.

"I can't accept that, I can't"

"Why not?"

Kelly's on the verge of tears "I'd loved to, in fact there's nothing more that I want but.. I can't. What would happen to you when everybody finds out I'm ex-Cerberus?"

He laughs, which when he gets a glimpse of Kelly's face he knows that it the last thing he should be doing. He holds up his hands to placate her, realising that this is the first time that he's ever seen her truly angry.

"Kelly, nothings going to happen to me, to us. I'm too big of a hero, too big source of hope and I, well, I pulled influence with the government, got your records wiped. Nobody will ever know that you where in Cerberus and those who do won't care or tell anybody else. I want this to be perfect. I'm not going to let you get away from me, Kelly. So say yes, please"

A flurry of emotions parade across Kelly's face, anger, disbelief, hope, cautious optimism and finally, joy.

"I want to but..."

He hugs her, pulling her in tight against him

"Then say yes"

"Yes" said Kelly, tears falling unnoticed down her face.

"Yes?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

It wasn't a big wedding or the most fancy but in the end it was theirs, a quiet wedding amongst the wreckage and the renewal of the Reaper war, attended by only a few people close to the pair of them. It's perfect..

There's no reception, no gifts, no honeymoon but it's intimate and sincere and that's all he wants.

And as he holds her hand he thinks that he did not have to count her amongst the dead.


End file.
